


Smells Like Tooms Spirit

by campylobacter



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Episode Related, Filk, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-06-06
Updated: 1998-06-06
Packaged: 2017-10-09 06:30:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/84076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/campylobacter/pseuds/campylobacter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Filk about Tooms based on Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit"; SPOILERS - Squeeze, Tooms</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smells Like Tooms Spirit

**Author's Note:**

> DEDICATED TO - Kurt Cobain, James Wong &amp; Glen Morgan. No livers were harmed in the making of this filk.

Load up on bile and eat your friends  
It's fun to stalk and apprehend  
I just woke up, I'm cravin' food  
I need five livers or I'm screwed

Hello my eyes are so yellow  
Hello my eyes are so yellow  
Hello my eyes are so yellow  
Hello my eyes are so yellow

All my muscles are striated  
Fingerprints get elongated  
I'm so fucked-up and voracious  
It's how Carter entertains us  
Halitosis  
A cirrhosis  
Diagnosis  
A psychosis

Yeah. Hey. Wait.

For thirty years I hibernate  
I crawl through ducts to infiltrate  
I'm creamin' to eviscerate  
Some human fois gras for my plate

Hello my eyes are so yellow  
Hello my eyes are so yellow  
Hello my eyes are so yellow  
Hello my eyes are so yellow

Call old Eugene Victor Tooms-er  
Underpaid dead cat remover  
I'm a mutant vivisector  
Rip-off of Hannibal Lecter  
Scully's locket   
In my pocket  
Tiny redheads   
Taste like chocolate

Yay. Hey. Yay.

[Kurt's immortally wicked guitar solo]

A mall replaced my tenement  
Ya gotta love fast-dry cement  
For hiding stiffs it sets up quick  
Just like the newsprint that I lick

Hello my eyes are so yellow  
Hello my eyes are so yellow  
Hello my eyes are so yellow  
Hello my eyes are so yellow

Every year my nest gets ranker  
I'm a bone-contorting wanker  
I hate active escalators  
FBI investigators  
A denial  
An x-file  
Morgan/Wong style  
Smell the bile

Smell the bile  
Smell the bile  
Smell the bile  
Smell the bile  
Smell the bile  
Smell the bile  
Smell the bile  
Smell the bile  
Smell the bile

**Author's Note:**

> This was difficult. Flame me. You know you want to.


End file.
